Always Beware Geeks Bearing Gifts
"Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex."
These words were imparted to us by a wise man who knew what a high score really meant.
Now that we're in the new millenium, it's time we put those thoughts to practice, and luckily, one Hong Kong company is taking us there.
Introducing, the Trance Vibrator from ASCII for the PlayStation2 video game console.
The product is designed for use with the PS2 game Rez, which to my dismay, was not based off of W. P. Kinsella's Dance Me Outside. Regardless, the music-style game involves a lot of bass-thumping action, which fuels the pushing of certain buttons. Can't complain.
This promo photo shows either a 12-year-old American girl revolutionizing her dance dance, or it shows a 42-year-old Asian girl busting her move. All Asian girls are hot. Until they turn 90.
It was based solely on the photo above that I felt an urge to try this device out.
I really wanted to beta test this product for you, my friends. However, I didn't have the funds to purchase this item, nor the vagina. So I did the next best thing.
I must say that the Trance Vibrator really kicked ass with Tetris. I came and came. Notable mentions also go to: River City Ransom; Ghost Lion; Bill and Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure; Fester's Quest; Wayne Gretzky Hockey; and pretty well anything by the company Wisdom Tree.
All in all, ol' Studd Webb has to give this product a big thumbs up, if for nothing else, the innovative input device. Oh, and if the cartridge doesn't boot up and you get that nasty Power , just remember that no amount of lubricant will save it. Just try wiggling it a bit until you find the right hole. It always works for me!
(thanks to Faithful Reader Caledia for the link!)
posted by Studd Webb @ 10:55 a.m.
2 Comments:
The first picture is one of the most beautiful I've ever seen, asian (or American 12 year olds) are hot. O.k that came out wrong... I shouldn't have said came.
That second picture is more disturbing than the time I was lost near Danang in the war. I can still hear their muffled screams.
Its so disturbing I have completely forgotten what the article was about and need to have a Tetanus shot.
If I have nightmares about that glove... now I'm creeped out... I gotta go.
It's funny you should mention nightmares. Games that did nothing for me included: Nightmare on Elm Street; Yo Noid!; A Boy and His Blob; Megaman 3 (the first two were good though); Win, Lose or Draw; The Punisher (although I didn't actually play the game, the title alone made me have to put the device in the wash); and Klax.
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